


Never Mentioned, Never Real

by Warp5Complex_Archivist



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-02-28
Updated: 2006-02-28
Packaged: 2018-08-15 23:49:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8078359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warp5Complex_Archivist/pseuds/Warp5Complex_Archivist
Summary: Gap filling.   (03/19/2004)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Kylie Lee, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Warp 5 Complex](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Warp_5_Complex), the software of which ceased to be maintained and created a security hazard. To make future maintenance and archive growth easier, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but I may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Warp 5 Complex collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/Warp5Complex).

  
Author's notes: Sequel to: Join the Dots. Especially for ShiShi.  


* * *

2184 

Thirty years. A lifetime for some species. Did you know the Tucasan only live for a decade? No kidding. 10 years, that's all they get. Then they go to this place, literally, and lay down to die. Weird or what? I'd go with the 'what'? 

Shit. There I go again. Deadpan humour. I thought I'd grown out of that. How many times have I told myself not to follow his route? I mean, c'mon, we should have seen it coming. So uptight. A loner. Uncomfortable socialising. He was a time bomb waiting to go off. 

I've been telling myself that for all of those thirty years. And it's all a lie. 

He wasn't uptight. He just followed the rules. He wasn't a loner. He was just shy. Okay he was uncomfortable socialising, but Commander Tucker cured him of that; until the Xindi. 

Even now, I still get a cramp in my stomach, thinking about what they did, what they were tricked in to. I guess that was the ultimate cosmic joke, the ultimate double bluff. The Xindi were as much victims as we were, but we didn't know that then. 

We didn't know that the Suliban were plying their trade. We didn't know that the Xindi had been shown manufactured evidence. All we knew was that they had hurt us, and we wanted to hurt them back. I remember like it was yesterday. Even the haulage freighters, those oh so independent captains...weeks, months and the messages were still coming through; "We're with you.", "We'll find them..." 

Is that why I betrayed him? 

I guess it's all plasma through the injectors now. I can't take it back, no more than I could stop a warp core breach. 

Sometimes, I see him sitting across the table, taking a measured forkful of his dinner and I hear him saying, "We can't win, Travis, no matter what we do, we'll end up in the wrong." and I see him nod to himself, as if it's final and I get so angry that he could think that. I want to yell at him for being so pessimistic. Sometimes I do yell back, but more often I just sit there, open mouthed and hear him say, "Orders are orders. I just hope we don't start to get as paranoid as I am." And he grins. That grin that defines his face. 

And I told them. Hell, I shot my mouth off to anyone and everyone. "Reed thinks we're making a mistake.", "The Lieutenant knows what he's talking about." Honestly, I didn't think it would go that far. Even in that shitty briefing, when, what was his name...Hayes, yeah, Major Hayes said we had a security breach, I didn't realise the Major meant Reed, meant ME. 

And Malcolm? Why didn't he SAY something? Throw me to the black hole, like I'd thrown him? 

Why? He had everything to hold on to. His sister, his partner, his career. 

No, he just accepted it. Almost like he was expecting it. And me? I let him do it. 

And now I'm Captain. Leading two hundred and fifty three people--including two Andorians, one Vulcan (in general Vulcans still can't get used to the smell) four Denobulans, six Suliban and a Vissian--back to the Xindi homeworld. Trying to repair some of the damage that's been done. Ironic isn't it. The Xindi show us how to repair our land. We show the Xindi how to repair their's. 

Someone, somewhere must be laughing their bloody heads off. 

Now that was a Malcolm comment. I guess I should be worried. All this raking over the past. It's not going to change. I'm not going to change. It's too late. I wonder where Malcolm is now? I wonder if Malcolm can ever forgive me. 

I hope so. 

~the end~


End file.
